Monday, December 1, 2014
In between picking up last minute things for the book release and enjoying the holiday with my family, I somehow had time last week to read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. Let me start off by saying that I attempted to read this very book for a scholarship over a decade ago, and I hadn't picked it up since... However, it always seems like God knows how to put what you need in your face when you need it to help convey his message.
Lately, I have been experiencing a tingling in my soul that I can not explain. A tingling that I can only explain as anticipation for unforeseen great things to come. And with that tingling, my self doubt has been at an all time low. Usually before a big event, I'm worried about whether everything is going to come together in time, will the turnout be bigger than the last event, will everyone have a good time, etc. However, this time around it was almost like God was saying, "Be easy child, I got you." I didn't stress when my book had to go back through re-editing, or when I didn't have books 2 days before the event, or even when my RSVPs exceeded the number of books that I had ordered. I sometimes complain about not being able to "hear" God, but I can say that I am definitely feeling him. And this time, I decided to be still and just let him lead. And when I decided to sit back and just listen, that book that I couldn't relate to umpteen years ago started speaking life into my own.
I always feel like I need to be in control of everything that occurs and have a hard time sitting back and just allowing things to manifest. In no way am I saying remain complacent and succumb to mediocrity, but learn to relinquish control over the things outside of our control and just trust that there are forces bigger than you at work. I have cried and prayed over not finding a Counselor position for this school year, stressed over not knowing whether these books sales and reviews will surpass Fashionably Deceptive, and secretly mourned for a man that was never mine. And then out of nowhere, I began experiencing a calm that has yet to lift. I'm starting to realize that the odds are not stacked against me and that maybe I haven't received some of the blessings that I knew were mine because those were not the blessings reserved for me. Instead of pitying myself when things don't go according to "my" plan, I'm starting to realize that "his" plan includes some lessons, bumps, and bruises that are preparing me for the finale. It's a hell of a feeling to be excited about blessings that you haven't even got yet but that you can feel on the horizon.
I no longer believe that fate controls my life and that I have to be content with mediocrity when blessings don't come when I want them. I now know that it is because God knew I wasn't ready. I no longer believe that God is allowing the devil to personally attack my blessings. I now know that in order to realize your dreams, you must master your lessons as God has a tendency to test you on everything you should be learning along the way. You can't get your penthouse if you are still struggling managing your apartment. You're not getting your Lance Gross, if you are still around here messing with..... (That was a holy shout moment, in case you missed it #thankmelater)
I am a work in progress. I am still learning, still growing, still may fall short at times, but this tingling that I feel.... All I can say is #StayTuned
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
They say, "Matters of the heart can not be easily explained," and who am I to disagree with the statement that has dictated my love life. Like many women, I struggle with being vulnerable and just allowing myself to let go and open up myself to love. The thought of being heartbroken (again), even though it is seemingly inevitable, sends a chill through my spine like the frigid breeze of a winter morning. My mouth says, "It is easier being single than to risk being wrong." My heart says, "There is nothing like loving and being loved in return." And then the childish part of my brain is like, "Bish you know it's about to get cold outside, and that bed is about to be really lonely."
These days, my fall back game is reminiscent of the social network memes that show the man falling back out out of the plane. I've always been good at the initial walk aways. I can ignore a phone call and text like nobody's business and still smile and give a one armed hug when I see you like it's all good. Yet, each time I've come back and allowed my forgiving spirit to intervene, the final verdict has never been in my favor. And since experience is one of life's best lesson, this time I decided to fall back and not look back. I thought "him" was the one, but I'm not interested in not being the only one trying to be the only one. So until the next "him", it might be one of the coldest winters ever. To be continued.......
Sunday, September 7, 2014
30 seems to be looming as the ultimate deadline to have the bullshit out your system and to have your shit together, and I honestly don't know whether I'm progressing or regressing. Most days I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up, I still live life on an edge always chasing dreams, and I still lack the desire to fully commit myself to anything, let alone a relationship. But I'm happy, lonely sometimes, but happy, unfilled with my career, but happy, financially irresponsible, but happy....
And it scares me... I want to be happy, but not complacent. Over the next year, I have so many mountains to cross in the form of state competency exams, book launches, making adult purchases like houses and big girl cars, etc.. So many milestones... The second that I allow complacency to creep into my spirit, I will fail. Everything that I plan to achieve over the course of the next year is going to require more of me, even more of God, and less of my rambunctious spirit that thrives on living life young, wild, and free. I have to get my shit together, I need to get my shit together.... I want my ideal career to fall into my lap, I want a man that loves my obnoxious self for me and one that I love just as much, I want my dream house, I want to make the Essence Best-Selling list, I want my family to get their shit together, I want to see the world, I want, I want, I want.. I want it all, and I am not willing to settle for anything less. Just call me the girl that wants everything.
Sunday, August 10, 2014
It is said that everything that is done in the dark will one day come to the light….
Jordan couldn’t be happier to find out that Chris is leaving the dope game. However, that happiness is quickly replaced when Chris becomes more inattentive than ever leaving Jordan wondering whether she's the only woman holding the key to his heart.
Pharris thought that she had found her soul mate in her fiance’ and is looking forward to graduation and moving in with her love. Yet, everytime that she turns around his job at the hospital seems to be taking precedence over their relationship. How many cancellations does it take before a wedding cancellation begins to loom on the horizon?
After years of putting up with the cheating ways of her ex, football star, Dareon Anderson, Kayla has finally moved on and is enjoying life with Terry, who just happens to be Dareon’s half-brother. Life couldn’t be better until Kayla discovers that one of her closest friends has been keeping a secret that is going to be one Fashionable Revelation.
Monday, July 28, 2014
Friday, May 30, 2014
Every email from an awaiting fan pulls on my heartstrings and causes a case of nostalgia to creep into my spirit. On top of being a writer, I have a career in education, and as searching for a Counseling position becomes increasingly disheartening due to a lack of available positions and connects, I find the date of my next book release being pushed further and further into oblivion.
My days and nightmares have become consumed with updating cover letters, printing out resumes, and submitting applications. The thought of remaining stagnant causes dry heaves and a throbbing headache that does not subside for hours.
Sunday, April 6, 2014
GIVEAWAY: Win 5 autographed Fashionably Deceptive novels along with a Fashionably Deceptive t-shirt!
As I prepare to launch my new website, I will be giving away 5 autographed Fashionably Deceptive novels along with a Fashionably Deceptive t-shirt. In order to win, all that you have to do is make sure that you are following my ToniatheAuthor Facebook Fan page, Twitter, and Instagram account. The links are below:
a Rafflecopter giveaway
The contest rules and deadlines are below. Good Luck!
Fashionably Deceptive Contest Rules
- In order to win, contestants must be following the ToniatheAuthor Facebook Fan Page, Instagram, and Twitter accounts.
- There will be five winners, and each winner will receive an autographed Fashionably Deceptive novel and a t-shirt. Winners will be chosen randomly. The more accounts you follow, the more of a chance you have to win.
- The contest will start on Sunday, April 6th and end on Sunday, April 13th.
- The winners will be announced via social media on Monday, April 14th.
Monday, March 24, 2014
“When you concentrate your energy purposely on the future possibility that you aspire to realize, your energy is passed on to it and makes it attracted to you with a force stronger than the one you directed towards it.” - Steven RichardsDo you believe in the law of attraction? Is it possible that our mind is so powerful that our perceptions can become reality? Does your negative thinking have a negative impact on your life? Do the rich and successful stay rich and successful because they wholeheartedly believe in their abilities?
"And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive." (Matthew 21:22)
Gratitude and visualization are the two powerful processes behind the Law of Attraction. Be grateful for the things that you have yet to recieve and visualize these achievements into existence.
For example: Let's say that you are seeking a job promotion. According to the Law of Attraction, by having positive thoughts about that promotion and being grateful like its already obtained will spread that energy into the air. Start preparing yourself for that promotion, and the law of attraction will rearrange events in your life to make that happen. In laments terms, claim your heart desires, believe in your goals and abilities, and they will manifest themselves in your favor.
Many pastors have preached about the power in the tongue, having faith, and not speaking negativity into existence. In my mind, this is the same concept as The Law of Attraction. Many times we diminish our values with our self doubt. "I think I can get this job promotion, but I know there are many other people more qualified than I am. I want to buy a house next year, but I probably will not be qualified. I want to fall in love, but all men are the same. I would like to travel more, but I don't have the time or money."
“The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it.” -J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan
The Law of Attraction almost sounds to simple to be realistic, but how many of us can actually believe in our heart's desires without allowing that evil thing called self-doubt to creep into your mind? Let's try it. Think about something that you want more than anything in this world. Now, that you have that pictured, did reasons why you can't recieve or accomplish that thing also seep into your mind right behind it? More than likely, the answer is yes.
I'm striving to become more mindful of the negativity that I speak from my mouth and/or think in my head in regards to my achievements. I've found an accountability partner/motivator to help correct my vision when I start throwing around that nasty word "but" around or not believing that my dreams and goals will/can manifest themselves.
"Because you have little faith," he said. "I assure you that if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Go from here to there,' and it will go. There will be nothing that you can't do." (Matthew 17:20)
Even the bible states that your belief in yourself is strong enough to move mountains. And I would like to think that these mountains are really just the different types of adversity that you sometimes have to face in the pursuit of happiness.
“Cultivate an optimistic mind, use your imagination, always consider alternatives, and dare to believe that you can make possible what others think is impossible.” -Rodolfo Costa
photo credit: devilicious.symphonick via photopin cc
Monday, March 10, 2014
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Guilty as charged. Out of the 100+ books that I have downloaded on my Kindle and/or have on my bookshelf, I have only left a review for maybe 10%. My reviews, or lack thereof, does not attest to the quality of the book, and there are not any excuses that I can make for not taking 1-2 minutes to let these authors know my thoughts about their works of art. I'm guilty, guilty as charged.
So as an author, now that reviews matter, it is almost hypocritical of me to go into an uproar about the fact that out of 2000+ downloads, only 40 readers have left a review on Amazon. So before I ask for change, it is imperative that I also begin to make changes by practicing this sermon that I'm about to preach. Reviews are critical to the success of an author, especially a new, unestablished author. It is reviews that help readers decide whether their $5 will be best spent buying a copy of Fashionably Deceptive or at their favorite fast food restaurant indulging in what they know will be satisfying.
The old adage, "When you know better, you do better," is only fitting for this situation. Until I became an
Get your copy here: Amazon
My favorite reviews go on Pinterest:
Follow Tonia TheAuthor's board Reviews Fashionably Deceptive on Pinterest.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
The photo shoot was quite an experience, and my glam squad worked for hours to make sure that I was FLAWLESS. I can't wait to see the final proofs of the pics and for my graphic designer to finish making my website come together. Stay tuned to my IG page for more pics from the shoot and info about the website relaunch: @toniatheauthor.
Monday, March 3, 2014
Over the past month, I have begun to blog more to allow readers and other bloggers a more in depth view into my life. So, I was more than honored to be nominated for the Liebster award by fellow blogger Selina: http://seliscorner.blogspot.co.uk/ . There are so many great blogs out there, so each follow and comment on my blog means more than I could ever express in words.
Below are the rules that accompany accepting the Liebster Award:
- You must link back to the blogger that nominated you.
- You have to answer 11 questions that were given to you by the blogger who nominated you.
- You have to nominate 11 other blogs and set 11 questions for them to answer.
- You can't nominate the person who nominated you.
- You have to tell the nominees that they have been nominated by you.
1. What is your favourite perfume at the moment?
Honestly, I don't wear alot of different perfumes, because my nose is really sensitive and I find that perfume scents can be overpowering. However, I am a Bath and Body works junkie, and anyone that knows me can tell you that my favorite scent of all times is Japanese Cherry Blossom. I even have the plug ins to permeate my house with this scent.
2. What are the 3 main qualities you look for in a partner?
I love a man that is consistent, has a sense of humor, and that is understanding. My personality can be very complicated, and I value the man that truly "gets" me.
3. If you wear make up, name one item of make up could you not live without?
I just really started wearing makeup within the past year or so, and I still only will wear it when I go out. It is definitely not an everyday staple, and I never wear it to work. However, my makeup essential is my Mac Skinfinish Mineralize power. It makes my face look FLAWLESS.
4. Which do you prefer Bags, shoes or clothes?
I am something like a shoe whore and have a fetish for overpriced designer shoes.
5. If you had the chance to meet someone famous who would it be?
Even though I could name a handful of attractive men that I would probably like to meet, I think at this stage in my life, Iyanla Vanzant might be a good option. I could use some "life fixing." One of my biggest personality flaws is that I am not very forgiving, and that can be hindering.
6. Favourite season & why?
Since, I am a fan of any beautiful beach, my favorite season would have to be summer. In the summertime, I am off work and love to travel to tropical places where clothing is minimal.
7. Who is your favourite style icon?
8. If you had £100,000 what would you do with it?
I would put pay off my debt, put a large down payment on a condo, find an investor to make some wise investments, and spend a month taking a budget vacation to get some writing done. And no, I wouldn't quit my job.
9. If you could travel to anywhere in the world, where would you go?
I would like to take a tour of Europe: Paris, London, Greece, Italy, etc.
10. What is your favourite clothing brand?
I do not have a favorite clothing brand, however, my favorite place to shop is Asos.
11. Describe yourself in 3 words?
Creative, Determined, Complex
- What is your dream accomplishment?
- What famous individual has served as an inspiration to you?
- What is your biggest personality flaw?
- If you could recieve an expense paid vacation to anywhere in the world, where would it be?
- If you had $100,000, what would you do with it?
- What types of items are your biggest splurge?
- What characteristics would your ideal mate have to possess?
- What do you think is the biggest hinderance to success in your dream field?
- What is one cause that you are passionate about and why (community service, activist, etc)?
- What are your favorite leisure activites?
- What factors contributed to you becoming a blogger?
Thursday, February 27, 2014
"Dress shabbily and they remember the dress; dress impeccably and they remember the woman."
- CoCo Chanel
Visit Tonia TheAuthor's profile on Pinterest.
Until recently though, the only board that I had actually put to use had been my recipe board. I think that I am something like a Chef Roble when I step into the kitchen, even if I'm only boiling water for my nightly tea. However, the recent influx in networking events and mingling with the trying to be rich and famous has caused a surge in my Pinterest usage and inspired the idea of #Pinspiration.
I did not coin the term #Pinspiration, however it has become a integral part of my life. If you have read past blogs, then you are aware that my time for things that are not business or branding related is extremely limited. Before #Pinspiration, I often caught myself at the mall on borrowed time trying to put together a outfit for an same day event that I found out about last minute. However, three significant things have led to a drastic change in my preparation process:
- Rebranding has cut my shopping budget down significantly
- My three closets and dresser are over capacity
- I was one outfit away from being the next star on Confession of a Shopaholic
As these three things begin to sit on the forefront of my mind, I had a strike of genius. I decided to put my fashion Pinterest board to use. Instead of spending my limited time and funds at the mall or online shopping, I made the decision to use Pinterest and my current wardrobe to recreate fashionable outfits. Follow my ToniatheAuthor Instagram page to see all of my #Pinspiration recreations!
Tonia The Author
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
"Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes." -Robert Hutchins
Sunday, February 23, 2014
"Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy." -Dale Carnegie
Friday, February 21, 2014
In my world, every holiday is a celebration and an opportunity to let your hair down and enjoy good times with good people. I'm a joyful giver on Christmas, food connoisseur on Thanksgiving, drunk Irish on St. Patty's Day, egg hunting champion on Easter, the list goes on and on. And even though Valentine's Day is usually reserved for happily dating or happily "pretending" couples, it still falls onto the list of being one of my favorite holidays to celebrate. Chocolate covered strawberries, gourmet chocolates, heart shaped confections, and confessions of undying love; it's hard for many woman to not get wrapped up in the charm of this liturgical holiday commemorating a saint of love. As much as social media would like to portray us career-oriented women as illogical happily-independent single tyrants, I can admit that I am a sucker for Valentine's Day. It would be untrue to say that I didn't wish that I had already met my soul mate and was embarking on a life of romantic getaways, candlelight dinners, and undying love, but unfortunately, we have not yet crossed paths. So instead of spending the day with any man, just for the sake of having a Valentine's date, I decided to spend the holiday with people I love doing things that I love on the day of love. I'm just very traditional that way.
After returning from our short but eventful field trip, I celebrated the holiday at one of Houston's premiere cocktail lounges, the Rosemont Social Club.
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Pictures from freedigitalphotos.net and madamenoir.com
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Happy New Year! I am more than a little late, but they say better late than never right. The start of a new year allows us all the opportunity to refocus and remove some of the dead weight that we have allowed to linger in our lives. So many people are pessimistic about these things that we call "New Year Resolutions," but if you are like me you have to set a starting point to accomplish long term goals. So, along with the usual resolutions, you know the ones I'm talking about, "I'm going to be summer time fine in the winter, I'm going to start watching what I eat, etc," I decided to use this year to remove dead weight that I have "allowed " to weigh me down for so long.
One of my struggles in life has always been holding onto dysfunctional relationships. And even though those relationships include my relationships with men that I choose to date, last year helped me to realize that some of those relationships included family. So, in preparation for completely removing the heavy weights that were sinking my life like an anchor, I begin to prepare for accomplishing my new year's resolutions in advance.
In order to "set up" my life for the removal of some people closest to me, I had to first begin the ostracizing process. Over the course of a couple of month, I adjusted living arrangements and life arrangements to sever the ties of dependency that were still linking me to those that I knew needed to go for the sake of my sanity.
I have a habit of allowing people to use me until they use me up. Well, the bottle is empty and can no longer be refilled. I am no longer interested in being a vessel for anyone else, but myself. As I continue to reach pinnacles that I didn't see coming to fruition so soon and accomplishing goal after goal, there are some that will not be allowed to come along for the ride. You will not ride me until the wheels come off, because from this day forward, I will be the only driver of this passenger-less vehicle.
I thought that I would be sad and depressed in moving on with my life and leaving some behind, but I am never felt more free. Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty, I am free at last.
1. Become Independent
2. Slowly Ostracize Yourself
3. Make Peace with your Decision
4. Let Go